Wants

I have so many wants going on right now in my life. First of all I WANT my husband to find a job! That would take care of the other little wants in my life. But an even bigger WANT right now is to adopt. It's hard for me to even believe this is the road the Lord is taking us down right now. Especially with my husband not being employed. But I know in the mean time I can spend a good deal of time in prayer and research. This reality of adoption has really only been a thought for a little over a month now. I think for myself I always thought of adoption as a noble thing to do, but I had a husband who really was not interested at ALL!! I started praying a few years back if adoption were something God had for us that he would soften Adam's heart toward it. And I really didn't think much more on it until God started planting little seeds.

Seed #1: Reading a great blog about a family with four kids adopting two more from Africa. Very inspiring reading, that mom in that family is amazing to me!
Seed #2: Listening to our executive Pastor Rick Clapp talk about his trip to Africa and crying during the video presentation as it spoke about all the children dying because of the health crisis in their county and the lack of having parents to help.
Seed #3 Praying right in that sermon that if we were to adopt that Adam would want this just as much as me and that doors would be open and hearts would soften.
Seed #4 Sitting in an airport 3 days later not having talked about adoption once when my husband turns to me and out of the blue says "I think we should adopt a baby from Africa" I can not tell you how hard it was for me to contain the emotions running through me in that moment.
Seed #5 Willing myself the very next morning to get up and go to a meeting after arriving home very late the night before. And meeting Beth, whom I didn't know very well...finding out that she works for an adoption agency and they do adoptions from Ethiopia! Once again the emotions inside of me were almost uncontainable!
Seed #6 after letting my fear take over and deciding it would be much easier to ignore this calling from God then to go through all the pain it was sure to cause...sitting in church hearing from our pastor Kelly talk about pastor and author Rick Warren and his incredible heart for the orphans in the world. Yet once again I felt God calling me down this road of adoption.

Am I scared?? Of course, I think of all the millions of reasons we should not do this and why it is sure to wreck my lifestyle and possibly the family God has already given me. But do I think it's worth living out my faith?? Absolutely, because I don't think living out your faith comes from just talking about all the nice things we should do as Christians. I think it takes sacrifice and trusting in the plan for our lives. And by trusting I may just get some of my biggest WANTS out of life.