feeling Blah!

Today and many days before are feeling very blah to me...I'm really trying to figure God out here (probably my first mistake) trying to make sense of this life right now. It all seems very impossible right now. I'm just frustrated!

But on a happier note Adam and I get to go see Toby Mac and Reliant K in concert tonight...thanks to my wonderful sister in law, Amanda. She works for Way FM and scored us some free tickets! So That should be fun...something to take my mind off what is.

Today

Today doesn't feel as bad as yesterday...I think I'm in the numb phase. Plus Adam is gone hunting for the weekend, so I don't have to look at that weary face of his. I really hope he is able to relax and blow off some stress. I know that God is in control(I keep repeating this statement over and over in my head!) and He will provide for us! I'm really trying to leave the "why" phase behind me. He truly sees all and I only see a tiny portion. And even in our hopelessness yesterday, God's goodness was triumphant as Adam received a call from another pharma company who was interested in him.


This is today...

Wondering why??

Why does life happen the way you don't want?
Why did my husband go through 4 interviews for one job?
Why did we receive the great news that he got the job?
Why did we have just enough money to pay this month's mortgage?
Why did yesterday the "perfect" job disappear?
Why do things seem perfect and then get changed?
Why do I trust so little?

So thankful

My dear husband got himself a job!!! We are so relieved and grateful to our God. He has been more faithful to us during this hard time then I even realized. We are also so thankful to all our friends and family who have been there to support us and pray with us.

Adam starts the 14th and I can't wait!!

I voted!!

Today's the day. Will it be Obama or McCain??

The voting experience was great: only took about 15min

Got the cool sticker that I wore all day, even though my husband thought I was a big dork. Don't care! I voted!

Birthday boys

The two most important men in my life shared a birthday today. How awesome it was to give my husband a little boy two years ago to the day on his birthday. Won't be topped not now not ever! Love you boys!

and yes...they both have black marks on their faces! : ) It's Halloween you know!

all about Maddox

My sweet little boy turned 2 today! How can this be I ask myself!? But he is sooo TWO!

1. He's VERY independent

2. He can throw one good stomping fit

3. He sleeps in a big boy bed

4. His favorite words are, NO! NOPE! MINE!

5. He can tell me he loves me and hit me at the same time

6. He's all about the motorcycles and trucks!

Having a little boy after two girls has been such a BIG difference, but we are so blessed to have this fun loving strong willed little boy in our lives. Happy birthday my sweet boy!

a spooktacular day and night

Mummy fun at Mackenzy's school party

Mackenzy and daddy carving the pumpkin

our annual get together with friends

a perfect fall day

Sadie + Jada= Best Friends

little cutie cowgirl Jada

Mackenzy looking quite scary!

Maddox was all into it

ready for a night of tricker treating

As you can tell it was a crazy day of fun and we wouldn't have it any other way! Happy Halloween to you all!

God is good

Very early this morning Adam received a phone call telling him that he was moving on to the final interview for a pharmaceutical company. This was a huge surprise to us. How good is God to allow us to hear this news first thing instead of wondering all day long. Adam also has another interview this morning with a different pharmaceutical company. God does know all our needs and He has provided. We will be trusting and holding steadfast to this. Thanks so much for all your prayers!

America World Adption Seminar

So we went to our first seminar on adoption today. It was through America World Adoption. It was great to hear first hand stories from others who have gone through the adoption process and also fun to see their sweet children. Now we just need God to do the rest! : ) Please pray that my husband will find a job soon. It's so frustrating for me personally to feel this calling from God and not being able to move forward on it. I do realize that since He gave me the calling that He can indeed provide for that calling, but I'm human so I just feel frustrated right now! And a little helpless as well.

a little late

So I'm a little late with this posting...but better late than never, right?! My oldest turned 7 this year and enjoyed about a month's worth of celebrating! I didn't want to overlook it because she is such a sweet and special girl to us!

Why I love this...

I so look forward to this time of year with the changing leaves, a trip to the pumpkin farm, picking out Halloween costumes, and the Neely girls annual trip to Keystone. We enjoyed lots of laughter, talking, eating too much, movie watching, singing in the car, and staying up way too late! It's just one of the reason's I love this time of year!

Jackson Hole!

I just got back from the most beautiful trip!

A Challenge

Sunday at church our pastor challenged each of us to give up something important to us...either give it to someone who needs it or sell it on Craig's list and give the money to someone.

This is where my money will be going to:

http://followinggodto.blogspot.com/, http://www.dreamingonanangel.blogspot.com/, http://kiva.org/

I challenge each of you to do the same! It might just be fun!

I got it!!!

My book came today!! Yippee!! I'm so excited to start reading it.

I also signed up for a free seminar in Denver on adoption. I found it through the adoption agency I think we'll end up using.http://www.awaa.org I just have such a peace about America World Adoption. Plus I know someone who works there and it seems like a really special agency.

So I think Ethiopia may be our place! I'm still praying on that one for sure...but I do feel like we are being led that way. Yeah!

Finally!

After searching the library and Barnes and Noble...I have finally ordered the book "There is No Me Without You" on ebay...can't wait till it gets here! My next book to order is "Fields of the Fatherless" written by C. Thomas Davis...recommended by my friend Hollie! I love reading...especially when I'm super interested about something.

Oh Baby!

This is how my sweet little man woke up from his nap today. Not too sure why the sad face and sad little cry. But how cute is that face!? Guess we'll be spending some extra time cuddling this afternoon!

Learning more...

I figure I need to do more than just pour over adoption blogs and see all the warm hearted stories and cute smiling sweet faces. I need to really get the facts! Not that it will change my mind on adopting...I just want to prepare myself for it all. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the emotions of it all...kind of like when I was pregnant with my first and I had all these great visions of holding that sweet little quiet angelic infant in my arms as I rocked her to sleep. Not that I didn't adore her, but it all looked a little more messy in real life than I had pictured! And just how I know that my sweet little baby cried and pooped and spit up on me and how I was tired and sore and cranky I know that there will probably be some bumps in the road for the new little person we bring home. So with all that said I think the first book I'll pick up is "There is no me without you", by Melissa Fay Greene. One step at a time.

blogs, blogs, blogs...

I can't seem to get enough of reading blogs on adoption from Ethiopia. I'm really falling more and more in love with the kids from this country! But is this where God is calling us to? I want to make sure...I don't just want to get so wrapped up in it all that I miss the perfect place He has for us. And with Adam still not having found a job, we are really in no rush of making a rash decision. Lot's of time for prayer, which is always good!

Pretty Pretty!

I love my new background...thanks to my hubby! I'm not so computer savvy and I knew if I could get Adam to help me, that he'd get sucked in until he figured it out! And that's just what happened. : )

Wants

I have so many wants going on right now in my life. First of all I WANT my husband to find a job! That would take care of the other little wants in my life. But an even bigger WANT right now is to adopt. It's hard for me to even believe this is the road the Lord is taking us down right now. Especially with my husband not being employed. But I know in the mean time I can spend a good deal of time in prayer and research. This reality of adoption has really only been a thought for a little over a month now. I think for myself I always thought of adoption as a noble thing to do, but I had a husband who really was not interested at ALL!! I started praying a few years back if adoption were something God had for us that he would soften Adam's heart toward it. And I really didn't think much more on it until God started planting little seeds.

Seed #1: Reading a great blog about a family with four kids adopting two more from Africa. Very inspiring reading, that mom in that family is amazing to me!
Seed #2: Listening to our executive Pastor Rick Clapp talk about his trip to Africa and crying during the video presentation as it spoke about all the children dying because of the health crisis in their county and the lack of having parents to help.
Seed #3 Praying right in that sermon that if we were to adopt that Adam would want this just as much as me and that doors would be open and hearts would soften.
Seed #4 Sitting in an airport 3 days later not having talked about adoption once when my husband turns to me and out of the blue says "I think we should adopt a baby from Africa" I can not tell you how hard it was for me to contain the emotions running through me in that moment.
Seed #5 Willing myself the very next morning to get up and go to a meeting after arriving home very late the night before. And meeting Beth, whom I didn't know very well...finding out that she works for an adoption agency and they do adoptions from Ethiopia! Once again the emotions inside of me were almost uncontainable!
Seed #6 after letting my fear take over and deciding it would be much easier to ignore this calling from God then to go through all the pain it was sure to cause...sitting in church hearing from our pastor Kelly talk about pastor and author Rick Warren and his incredible heart for the orphans in the world. Yet once again I felt God calling me down this road of adoption.

Am I scared?? Of course, I think of all the millions of reasons we should not do this and why it is sure to wreck my lifestyle and possibly the family God has already given me. But do I think it's worth living out my faith?? Absolutely, because I don't think living out your faith comes from just talking about all the nice things we should do as Christians. I think it takes sacrifice and trusting in the plan for our lives. And by trusting I may just get some of my biggest WANTS out of life.

first grade

My first baby started first grade today. It takes me back almost seven years ago when I was "VERY" pregnant with her. Those are some of my most cherished memories. I remember all the hopes and dreams I had for her before she was even born. And now here we are almost seven years later and she is such a little lady. She was so excited before she went to bed last night and this morning she jumped out of bed with anticipation. She had her outfit picked out and her backpack ready to go. And as I watched her walk into school this morning with confidence I couldn't help be filled with pride for the little person she has become!! My baby always!

Trusting...

I find some weeks are harder than others when it comes to trusting in what God has for my life. And not just my life...my family as well. Money wise things have been more than tight for so long that it becomes very daunting. Is this how God wants us to live?? Does He hear me?? Of course I know that He does. I just get so tired sometimes. But here I am again, waiting and trusting...

The Gala!

Last night my hubby and I went to something that is very out of the norm for us! We got all fancy and went to a gala to benefit the new Memorial Children's Hospital. I was a little reluctant at first. I didn't own anything fancy and had no dress shoes. I also had to be up in Denver the whole day and the thought of coming home and trying to look pretty for that night sounded like too much work! But I knew it was something Adam really wanted to do so I became the supportive wife!! : ) My two best friends helped me pick out a great dress that was super cheap and super easy to find; the first one I tried on in fact! And I found the perfect shoes to go with it...the whole outfit cost me only $28!! Now that's a deal and a steal if you ask me!!
Adam and I had a fabulous and fun night together! It was great to have a break from the kids to eat some yummy food and do a little dancing. We meet some nice people and just had a good time together! My mom the saint, stayed home with our sick kids!! God please do not let her get sick!! So it's not always easy for me to step outside my comfort zone, but this night made me glad I did!!

grateful!

This was the subject of talk at bible study last night. And boy did it get me thinking! I would in general think I'm a very grateful person! But the more I think and dwell on this subject the more I realize I'm not very grateful at all. I'm really going to take the next few weeks a purposefully think on all that I'm grateful for! Here is just a few things I'm grateful for!
My family
my mom
my health
my family's health
our home
the state we live in
my church
my friends

Now I want to start thinking on the smaller details in life that I probably miss each day!

sick, sick, sick!

The nasty cold has finally got to me! After a weekend of staying up late and eating nothing but junk...I started feeling sick. This is one nasty cold. I do feel a little better today, but my body hurts and I have 0 energy! I'm ready for Summer!

Birthday Wishes!

Happy 31st to me! Why does this year feel a little worse than last? Is it because turning 30 is such a big deal that it takes some of the sting out? Or is it that turning 31 really means that you are in your 30's?? Either way it inevitable that I'm getting older! But with that said, I have many wishes for my life. I'd like to get my college degree, get in the best shape of my life and do something amazing that God has called me to! So these are just some birthday wishes.

Thanks so to my lovely husband for the beautiful tulips!!

Beautiful weekend away!

We had our yearly women's retreat at Buena Vista Colorado! "A fairy tale redeemed" was this year's theme. It was a great weekend of hearing God's voice and receiving some much needed healing! I also had a great time with my very special friends: Genesis, Janise, and Courtney.

So proud!

Maddox went potty in his new chair today! It was such a proud moment! He was so excited and had to show his daddy and sisters and have everyone clap for him! Too cute!!

Chopped!

Over a week ago Mackenzy under went a mini makeover! She got her first "big" girl haircut! We cut several inches off and it looks SO cute!! She's a new woman! It's really amazing how young they start. But I know she felt really good about herself...she couldn't stop swishing her hair around!

March is here!

I can't believe it's already March 6th!! And in true March form we've already had two or three snow storms...but the snow melts pretty fast which is always nice! We bought Maddox a new potty chair today. And yes, he's only 16 mos...so my expectations are very low!! But with only one left in diapers I'm anxious to get rid of that expense!! We'll see how he does...so far he's having lots of fun putting toilet paper in it!! : )

Warmath is on it's way??!

The last couple of days have given me hope that spring is on it's way and that winter will NOT last forever! It's always hard to believe that one day soon we will be trading the heavy coats for sandals! But I can hardly wait! And tomorrow is supposed to be close to 70 degrees! Yeah!! But with the warmth comes yet another snow storm. I'll still give God thanks for the few days of nice weather! Always a welcomed treat from Him!

You're Going to Miss This!

This is the title to the new Trace Adkins song! I can relate to it SO much!! My whole life I've wanted life to speed by, not enjoying the moment or learning from the pain of the moment! This song touches me so deep and I cry every time I hear it! Life seems so hard to me right now. I have a 6 year old, 4 year old, and a 16 month old!! They run me ragged, they make mess after mess, they complain and cry and scream and I feel like all I want to do is run away! But I know I would miss it all so much and I know when they are grown I'll miss this time...just like I miss all the other times in my life that have flown by! I'm trying very hard to trust God right now and to have faith in Him alone! And to know that He will never leave me, but hold me close and walk through this journey of life! I'm forever thankful for that! Praise you Father!!

Lazy days of Sunday

We had to spend the morning watching the 3,4,and 5's at church this morning. Boy are those kids full of energy! Wish I were! Adam and I are recovering from a small case of the stomach flu! So we weren't so ready for that much fun this morning! ; ) But after church we were able to go out with friends from church and have lunch. It's always so nice to be with friends and laugh and get some stress out! The kids love being with their friends. Jada's best friend Sadie and her little brother Sawyer always keep them entertained! Now the "boys" went to play the afternoon away, riding their dirt bikes! Glad Adam could get away for awhile. He's always doing do much for me during the week nights, as I'm off running around! So here I sit typing away having a lazy Sunday! God rest before my crazy week starts! Anyway just wanted to thank God again for this day and all the blessing in our lives!

Tea for two

I spent a wonderful afternoon at Glen Eyrie Castle with my friend Genesis. It was so nice to sip on tea and eat yummy treats with uninterrupted conversation! Gen is moving all the way to Hong Kong in May...so it was nice to make some fun memories before she goes! I will miss her, but treasure these fun times together!